Wednesday, April 17, 2013

The Waiting Game

So…I timed my mission call exactly right. It’s coming the very last day of finals! Hurrah! Wasn’t that just the best timing?
I really hope you could hear the sarcasm in that.
Seriously though, this is the worst. Here I am, trying my hardest to study, when I get a text from my bishop telling me that the General Authorities should be assigning my call tomorrow.
I’m just a little bit excited. I knew the timing was rotten when I planned it, but as usual, I ignored the little voice of reason in my head. I couldn’t wait!
Well, now I have to wait, and my grades can’t. I was actually doing fine until that text. Well, my roommate opened her call yesterday (Lima, Peru!), and that kind of started my excitement. But the text…it pushed me over the edge. No offense, Bishop. That was my own fault.
(Side note: this girl is not a fan of Sponge-Bob Square Pants. I’m sitting at work, and it’s been playing on the t.v. in the lobby for the last hour and a half. I may scream. Or run out. Or both.)
Anyway, I just thought that ya’ll should know that I’m trying hard to focus. It’s a work in progress. Wishing all of my BYU friends a happy finals week, and may the odds be ever in your favor.  

Friday, April 12, 2013


Hey friends. I recently saw a Facebook post about how a person (I don't actually know them, it was an anonymous page) feels so judged and alone here at BYU because of their trials, which included abuse and homosexuality.
I mean, I understand what they're saying. I can see how someone with that background would feel out of place. But that is the exact opposite of how I feel at BYU.
I know that some of you are thinking, but she hasn't gone through those things. And you're right. I haven't been sexually abused or attracted to women.
But I do know that people tend to ostracize themselves. Seriously. You look around and you feel judged, but nobody is judging you. You can't relate to them, and they can't relate to you, but that doesn't mean that there is any judgment going on.
If you are sticking yourself in a hole, get out of it. If you are living in the past and letting it affect the present, stop it.
I've gotta tell you--I lived in the past for way too long. I let my fear and mistrust affect everything I did. Everyone that I met was just a future loss, another person to leave me. I could talk and joke around, but getting close to took time. A lot of it. I've known my best friend since I was 6, and we weren't good friends all that time. It took years for me to trust her completely.
I created my own personal hell.
How often do we do that? How often do we create the problems that keep us up at night? We are so much harder on ourselves than others--and the Lord--are. You look in the mirror and you think, what mistakes have I made today? What did I say wrong? Who doesn't like me?
Well, stop it. You heard me. Just stop. You are beautiful. You are incredible.
Stop dwelling on the hard things in life. Life is hard. Get over it and stop pulling yourself down.
Here's a pep talk from a little girl who has her priorities straight:

Let yourself be amazing.