Thursday, June 13, 2013


You know who is really irritating me right now? Men. 
I was having a conversation with this guy at work today. It was just a nice, friendly conversation, nothing special about it. Well, partway through, another girl entered the conversation and asked me what I was doing this summer, etc. I told her that I'm leaving on a mission in August, and the guy lost all interest and barely spoke a sentence to me after that. 
Is dating your only incentive for talking to me? I feel like I have to avoid the topic of my mission around men because they can't just grow up and talk to me anyway. I'm not just good for dates and marriage, guys. As my friend Dana would say, I'm not a walking uterus. I can hold my own in a conversation, and hey, I'm not on a mission yet. Flirting isn't taboo. Yet.
(Quick side note: I realize that you fellas get the same thing done to you. Please know that this rant is simply an extrapolation of my frustration towards this specific boy.)
Ugh. I'm so irritated that I can't even think of anything valuable to say. RMs just make me so uncomfortable. It's "Marriage or Bust" to them, and I wouldn't be interested even if I wasn't going on a mission. Dating, yes. For sure. I enjoy dates, and I enjoy the company of nice guys. But heaven forbid I don't get married when I'm 19! 
So here I am, taking myself off of the meat market. (I'm sorry, did I say meat market? I meant marriage market.) I know, I know--I'm a BYU student who ISN'T interested in getting married in the next year. Heaven forbid that I give myself some time to figure myself out before making one of the biggest decisions of my life.
So sue me.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

All in Good Time

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf once gave a talk entitled "Forget Me Not". He delivered this address to women, but its message is equally powerful for men and children. 
He told of an old German legend about the forget-me-not, a small, blue flower that is easily overlooked. According to the legend, the forget-me-not was the last plant to be named by God. It cried out, "Forget me not, O Lord!". And so the plant was named. 
President Uchtdorf explained that there were five things that he wanted us to "forget not". They are: 
  1. Forget not to be patient with yourself.
  2. Forget not the difference between a good sacrifice and a foolish sacrifice.
  3. Forget not to be happy now.
  4. Forget not the "why" of the gospel.
  5. Forget not that the Lord loves you.
Now, I've always been very scatterbrained. I tend to lose/forget things easily. And one of the things that I forget the most is to be patient with myself. 
Here's something that may shock you: I mess up. A lot. (Crazy, I know.) I'm constantly trying to improve, and when I don't get immediate results, I get really down. I'm hard on myself, wishing that I could be better, while not knowing what I can do to be perfect. 
But here's the thing--I'm not going to be perfect for a very long time. (Again, that may come as a shock. It's difficult to believe, but humor me here.) And hey, Satan is working pretty dang hard on me. He attacks me on every side. It's hard to maintain perspective when the master of all lies is telling you that you aren't good enough, you aren't strong enough, you aren't perfect enough. 
Luckily, I am perfect enough. I am perfectly me, and that is all I need. Perfection will come in good time, but for now, I just have to keep picking myself up when I fall. (See, Bruce? We fall so we can pick ourselves up.) President Uchtdorf asks us to "stop punishing" ourselves. He tells us to recognize our successes--our Heavenly Father sees them, no matter how small, and they are important to Him. So let me ask you this: if God, the creator of innumerable worlds, cares about your small successes, why don't you? 
Learn to stop punishing yourself for your failures. Perfection will come, but for now, learn to be patient. Revel in your successes, and the rest will come.
"Our journey toward perfection is long, but we can find wonder and delight in even the tiniest steps in that journey." ~President Dieter F. Uchtdorf